Wunderkind
by Dead Composer
Summary: The ultimate weapon is out there! Boris and Natasha will keel for it! Gidney and Cloyd will scrooch for it! Can Rocky and Bullwinkle reach it before they do?
1. Chapter 1

This story is rated G.

Disclaimer: The Rocky and Bullwinkle characters are owned by Jay Ward & co.

In this story, the voice of the Narrator is represented by **_bold italic text_**.

----

_**As we begin our story, Rocky and Bullwinkle are enjoying a lazy summer day at their shack in the bustling metropolis of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.**_

Bullwinkle is sitting on a wooden chair in what passes for the dining room. On the table in front of him sits a bottle whose label says, ANTLER-GRO. He is rubbing the oil from the bottle over his antlers and humming "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain" when Rocky walks in, wearing his usual flight helmet.

"What's that stuff, Bullwinkle?" asks the squirrel.

"It's supposed to make my antlers bigger," Bullwinkle tells him.

"Where'd you get it?"

"Off the Internet. Some nice person sent me an email advertising it."

"That's spam!"

"No, Spam comes in those little cans."

Curious, Rocky picks up the bottle of oil and smells the top. "Hey, wait a minute!" he realizes. "This is camphor oil!"

"It is?" Bullwinkle takes the bottle from Rocky and closely examines it. "Active ingredients: Camphor oil. Inactive ingredients: Camphor oil."

"That won't make your antlers bigger," Rocky informs him.

"Well, it'll help if I pull a muscle in my head," Bullwinkle reflects.

"Why do you want bigger antlers, anyway?" Rocky inquires.

Bullwinkle begins to speak wistfully. "Well, Rock, I'm almost forty-five years old now, so it's about time for me to head into the wilderness and find a nice she-moose."

"You mean...get married?"

"Yeah. Settle down, have little meeses..."

Rocky perks up his ears. "Hey, what's that noise?"

Bullwinkle listens carefully. "Is it my biological clock ticking?"

"No."

"Is it the metropolis bustling?"

"No, it sounds like flapping..."

Before Rocky can finish, a sparrow flies through the open window, passes through the shack, and collides against the opposite wall. The bird drops to the floor and becomes stiff. "Omigosh!" exclaims Rocky as he draws close to it. "The poor little bird!"

"Yeah, he shoulda taken flying lessons from you," says Bullwinkle as he follows Rocky.

As the two stand over the apparently dead bird, a man's voice begins to emanate from it.

"Attention, Agent Moose and Agent Squirrel! An extremely powerful and dangerous secret weapon known as Wunderkind has disappeared from Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to locate this weapon and either return it to the laboratory, or failing that, destroy it. This weapon must not, I repeat, must not fall into the hands of enemy agents. I repeat, this weapon absolutely, positively must not, under any circumstances, fall into the hands of enemy agents! This bird will self-destruct in five seconds."

Rocky's face lights up with joy. Several seconds pass, and the bird explodes into a cloud of flying feathers. "Did you hear that, Bullwinkle?" Rocky asks his pal.

"Yeah." Bullwinkle brushes a feather off his nose. "It sounded kinda like the time I put a parakeet in the microwave."

"We've been called on a secret mission!" Rocky exults. "After all these years!"

"A SECRET MISSION?" exclaims the dumbfounded moose.

"Shh! Not so loud, or everybody in Frostbite Falls will know about our secret mission!"

"SECRET MISSION?"

"Shush up, Bullwinkle!"

_**Little do our heroes suspect that a hostile force is eavesdropping on them...**_

A few yards away from the shack, a small gray rabbit is sitting next to the entrance to its burrow. Its sensitive ears are picking up the exchange between Rocky and Bullwinkle...and transmitting it electronically to a receiver hundreds of miles away. The receiver is operated by a sinister-looking man wearing an overcoat, who immediately taps out an email on his computer and sends it to the address 

Across the ocean in the tiny nation of Pottsylvania, the dreaded spymaster known as Fearless Leader is perusing his email messages.

"Order Viagra online...order Viagra online...order Viagra online... Wait! What is this? Moose and squirrel on secret mission!" Fearless Leader leaps to his feet and summons a uniformed woman who stands nearby. "This is a matter of national insecurity! Sofia, go quickly and bring me the most incompetent spies on my force!"

"Yes, Fearless Leader." She clicks her heels, turns and leaves. A few seconds later she returns with (who else but) Boris and Natasha in tow.

Fearless Leader grins. "Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, eh?"

"At your service, Fearless Leader," says Boris.

"A few new recruits came in this week," Sofia mentions. "I can check and see if any of them are less competent."

Fearless Leader waves his hand. "Don't bother." The uniformed woman leaves.

"For what purpose have you summoned us, Fearless Leader?" Natasha inquires.

"You must go to America and recover a lost secret weapon. But to do so, you will need to outsmart your old enemies...moose and squirrel!"

Terrified, Boris and Natasha sink to their knees and begin to plead for mercy.

"Please, Fearless Leader!" Boris begs. "Anythink but that! Let me blow up a playground! Let me put hypnotic messages in American popular music! But please, please, please...not moose and squirrel!"

Natasha clutches her ears. "The puns! The puns!"

"Very well," says Fearless Leader. "I will do it myself. No one will suspect a man with a scar and monocle. Of course, that means I will get the promotion."

"Promotion?" repeat Boris and Natasha in unison.

"This secret weapon will tip the balance of power in favor of Pottsylvania," the spymaster tells them. "Whichever spy brinks it back will surely be rewarded with great honors...and may even become the next Mr. Big."

Boris and Natasha rise to their feet. Their eyes are full of ambition. "Did you hear that, Boris darlink?" says Natasha. "I'm goink to be the next Mr. Big!"

"You? What about me?"

"You can be Mrs. Big." Boris looks confused.

_**Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of miles away...**_

Unbeknownst to Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader, their conversation is being monitored from a futuristic communications center located hundreds of feet below the surface of the moon. Cloyd the moon man sits at one of the consoles, his expression one of anxiety.

"Gidney, come here, quick!" he calls out. His friend Gidney the moon man hurries to his side.

"What is it, Cloyd?"

"Our old friends Rocky and Bullwinkle have been called to retrieve a secret weapon, but Boris and Natasha are plotting to beat them to it!"

"Hokey smoke!" exclaims Gidney. "We've got to go to Earth and help them!"

Moments later, Gidney and Cloyd are standing in the presence of the Moon Queen, wearing their holster belts and scrooch guns.

"You were wise to bring this to my attention," says the Queen. "Ever since an Earth man walked on the surface of our world, I have suspected that some day they would attempt an invasion. If the weapon you speak of is truly as powerful as the Earth leaders claim, then they must intend to deploy it against us. Gidney, Cloyd, you must travel to Earth, find this weapon, and either return it to the moon, or destroy it."

"Yes, Your Grace," say Gidney and Cloyd meekly.

"I thought we were going to help Rocky and Bullwinkle," Cloyd says to his friend as they depart the Queen's palace. "I didn't expect to be sent on a secret mission."

"Orders are orders," Gidney replies with a hint of sadness. "I just hope we don't end up having to scrooch our friends."

_**So, the stage is set. The plot thickens. Who will reach the secret weapon first? Our heroes? The spies? The moon men? Be sure to see the next exciting episode, "Malice from the Moon", or "I Wonder What a Wunderkind Is".**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**In our last episode, our heroes learned of a secret weapon that had been lost from Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory, and were ordered to keep it out of enemy hands at any cost. Now, as they fly towards San Diablo, California to obtain information from the laboratory, their tireless enemies Boris and Natasha are making their own way around the world in hopes of getting their grubby little mitts on the mysterious weapon!**_

"What do you mean, grubby?" says Boris to the Narrator. "I washed my hands a month ago!"

The scene shifts to an airport security line. Everyone in the line, with the exception of Boris and Natasha, is a dark-complexioned, bearded man clad in an Arabic robe and turban.

A man wearing the uniform of an airport security guard approaches Boris and Natasha, and gestures. "Sir, ma'am, you've been randomly selected for search. Please step over to the wall and spread out your arms."

"Bah!" protests Boris. "Just because we are from Pottsylvania, you think we are spies!"

The guard runs his wand over Boris, and it starts beeping. He reaches into Boris' overcoat and pulls out a stick of dynamite. "I'll have to confiscate this, sir," he states.

"But...but..."

"We'll just have to fish the old-fashioned way, Boris darlink," says Natasha.

_**At the same time, a strange vessel has appeared in the stratosphere!**_

The scene cuts to the stratosphere, where a strange vessel has appeared. It is round and covered with blinking lights. Inside, Gidney and Cloyd are seated at a console, manipulating the controls. "We must make sure the Earthlings don't see us when we land, Cloyd," says Gidney.

"Not a problem, Gidney," says Cloyd. "I'm landing the ship in the middle of the New Mexico desert, about thirty-five miles from a small town called Roswell."

_**Soon our heroes arrive in California, only to be met with a severe disappointment.**_

Rocky and Bullwinkle are standing in front of the Hurtz car rental desk, talking to a young female clerk. "What do you mean, you don't have a convertible?" Bullwinkle complains.

"The Bulls came this morning to play the Lakers, and rented them all," the clerk tells him.

"This is an outrage!" shouts the angry moose. "I demand to see the person in charge! Do you have any idea who I am?"

"You're Bullwinkle the Moose," says the clerk indifferently. "Think you can remember that, or should I write it down?"

A short while later, Bullwinkle is hunched over in the driver's seat of a compact car that can barely contain him, and Rocky is belted into the passenger's seat. They are driving along a two-lane road in the middle of the desert.

"Still want bigger antlers?" Rocky asks his friend.

"Hmph," grunts Bullwinkle.

They pass a sign that says, WELCOME TO SAN DIABLO, HOME OF FLORENCE LIVERWURST NATIONAL LABORATORY AND NOT MUCH ELSE.

_**Little do our heroes suspect that yet another disappointment awaits them at this bastion of scientific progress in the middle of the desert.**_

In a small auditorium, Rocky and Bullwinkle are greeted by a dozen or so scientists, both men and women, who are dressed in casual clothing. The foremost, a man whose badge reads "Dr. Seymour Tightlips", shakes hands with Bullwinkle.

"I'm Dr. Seymour Tightlips," he announces. "I'm very glad that you could come out to see us. I was a big fan of your cartoons when I was a kid, and I know that if anyone can bring back Wunderkind, you can."

"Dr. Tightlips, what exactly is Wunderkind?" Rocky inquires.

"I can't tell you," says the doctor. "It's top secret."

"At least tell us what it looks like."

"I can't tell you that either."

"How are we supposed to find it if we don't know what it is or what it looks like?"

"If I tell you what it is or what it looks like, I'll have to kill you, and how will you find it if you're dead?"

_**Meanwhile, our favorite villains and scoundrels, Boris and Natasha, are attempting to gain access to the laboratory.**_

At the gate leading into the lab, Boris and Natasha are standing in front of a security booth, talking to the grizzled old man who guards the entrance. "Do you have a security clearance?" the guard asks them.

"A security clearance? Ho, ho!" Boris laughs. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Boris Badenov, and this is my partner, Natasha Fatale. We are..."

"You're Pottsylvanian spies," says the guard. "I've seen every episode of your show, but you're still not getting inside without a security clearance."

"Where do we get this security clearance, darlink?" asks Natasha.

"You have to fill out dozens of forms and wait for two years while the government processes them," explains the guard. "Or, if you can't wait that long, we hold a raffle every Sunday."

"Come, Natasha," says Boris. "I get the feelink we are not welcome here."

As Boris and Natasha leave, Snidely Whiplash walks up to the security booth, grinning mischievously.

"Snidely, old chum!" the guard greets him. "Come on in!"

At the edge of the tiny town of San Diablo, Rocky and Bullwinkle are walking along the street. "I don't think we'll get any help from the scientists," says Rocky glumly. "We'll have to figure out what Wunderkind is by ourselves."

"I can't even pronounce Wunderkind," says Bullwinkle.

"It's German. It means 'child prodigy'."

"What's a prodigy?"

"Uh..."

_**1. A person with exceptional talents or powers. 2. An act or event so extraordinary or rare as to inspire wonder.**_

"Thanks."

As the pair reaches the end of the street, Rocky spies a strange set of tracks leading into the seemingly endless expanse of desert. "Hokey smoke!" he exclaims, pointing. "Those are the weirdest tracks I've ever seen! They're perfectly round!"

Bullwinkle bends over to analyze the tracks. "They must have been left by aliens!"

"Or a very heavy person with round feet!"

"Let's see where they lead to!"

Rocky and Bullwinkle head off into the desert, following the round tracks.

_**Five hours later...**_

Rocky and Bullwinkle are trudging through the sand and sagebrush, sweating and gasping with thirst. "I'm...really...thirsty, Bullwinkle," Rocky pants. "I think...we should...stop...and get some...water."

"Good...idea, Rock," groans Bullwinkle.

They turn around and find to their dismay that the town of San Diablo has completely disappeared from their view. They look in all directions and see nothing but barren desert.

"Omigosh, Bullwinkle!" cries Rocky. "We're lost!"

"We're not lost. The tracks will lead us back to..."

_**Suddenly our heroes are caught in a blinding sandstorm!**_

A blinding sandstorm arises from nowhere and coats Rocky and Bullwinkle in sand. A few seconds later, it disappears as quickly as it came.

"Oh, very funny," says Rocky as he empties the sand from his flight helmet.

_**It's time for the cliffhanger. I had to do something.**_

"Oh, no!" Bullwinkle realizes. "The tracks are covered up! Now we'll never find our way back to San Diablo!"

"We'll die of thirst in the desert!" Rocky exclaims.

_**Be sure to see our next exciting episode, "Shadow of a Drought", or, "Dude, Where's my Canteen?"**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**When we last left our heroes, they were stranded in the middle of the desert, with no sign of civilization or water as far as they could see!**_

Rocky and Bullwinkle are staggering through the barren waste, looking desperately for water. The sun beats down on them mercilessly.

"Hey, you don't happen to have any water, do you?" Bullwinkle asks the Narrator.

_**Nope, sorry. But I've got some potato chips.**_

Rocky's face lights up suddenly. "Bullwinkle, I've got an idea!"

"What?"

"Pick me up and throw me into the air as hard as you can, then I'll glide down. Maybe I'll see some water!"

"Okay, here we go!"

Bullwinkle grabs Rocky and hurls him into the air with all his might. As he floats about on the air currents, Rocky glances to the left and right...and sees something.

"Look, over there! I see a town! Bullwinkle?"

Rocky glides closer to the ground, only to be grabbed by a pair of greedy hands...

"Boris Badenov!"

"Muwahahaha! We meet again, squirrel!"

The archvillain Boris tightens his grip on Rocky. Next to him stand Natasha and Bullwinkle, who has been bound hand and foot. Nearby are a pair of motor scooters.

"You won't get away with this!" Rocky vows.

Boris shrugs. "Get away with what?"

"Uh...whatever it is you're trying to get away with."

"What makes you think I'm tryink to get away with anythink?" says Boris innocently. "Natasha and I were enjoyink a little ride in the desert, and we saw you, and decided to tie you up and leave you to be eaten by coyotes for old time's sake." As he speaks, he takes a rope from his overcoat and begins to tie Rocky's hands.

"It would be quicker to blow you up," says Natasha, "but the security guard at the airport confiscated our bombs."

"Boris, you're nothing but a nasty, miserable, rotten, foul, unscrupulous..." As Rocky speaks, his mouth dries up until he can no longer continue, but can only pant. Boris has now bound his hands and feet.

"Oh, please, keep going! I love compliments!" Boris reaches into his overcoat and pulls out a canteen. "Here, have some water." He opens the canteen and carefully pours a few drops into Rocky's mouth.

"...lying, cheating, conniving, ruthless..." Rocky starts to pant again. Boris drops him on the ground, where he flops about helplessly.

"Adios, darlinks!" says Natasha, climbing onto her motor scooter.

"Tell the coyotes we're sorry we can't join them for dinner!" says Boris.

The two spies start their scooters and ride off into the desert. Rocky and Bullwinkle struggle uselessly against the ropes that bind them.

"What'll we do now, Rocky?" Bullwinkle wonders. "We just had a cliffhanger!"

"I...I..." Rocky struggles to speak, but his mouth is too dry.

_**Just when things can't get any more hopeless for our heroes...**_

Bullwinkle strains his ears. "Hey, Rocky, what's that noise?"

"It's someone on a horse!" rasps Rocky. "We're saved!"

Moments later, Dudley Do-Right rides past them, seated backwards on his trusty horse. He tips his hat at the boys and continues onward, vanishing into the horizon.

"He must be going to get help," says Bullwinkle.

_**One hour later...**_

"Oh, what's the use?" groans Bullwinkle. "No one will ever find us except the coyotes, and they'll chew us into little pieces."

"Bullwinkle, that's it!" cried Rocky.

"What's it?"

"I'll chew through your ropes!"

Rocky inches over the sand toward Bullwinkle until he gets close enough to grab the rope binding Bullwinkle's hands between his sharp squirrel teeth.

_**So Rocky chews and chews and chews, until finally...**_

Bullwinkle's rope breaks. He pulls his hands apart, quickly unties his feet, and raises his arms in triumph. "I'm free!" He starts to run giddily through the desert. "I'm free! I'm free!"

"Hey, aren't you forgetting something?" Rocky calls to him.

"Oh, yeah." Bullwinkle stops running. "Thanks, Rocky." He starts to run again.

"Bullwinkle, wait! You're forgetting something else!"

"Oh, yeah." Bullwinkle stops running. "Which way is that town you saw?"

Rocky gestures with his head. "It's right over that hill."

"Thanks." Bullwinkle starts to run again.

"Aren't you gonna untie me?" asks the squirrel impatiently.

Bullwinkle stopps in his tracks. "D'oh!"

_**And so our tired, thirsty heroes march onward until they reach the nearby town of Muy Quiente, California.**_

It is twilight, and Rocky and Bullwinkle trudge slowly and wearily into a neighborhood at the edge of the desert. They come upon a little blond girl clad in a white blouse and blue skirt, who is jumping rope on the sidewalk.

"Hey, little girl," says Bullwinkle hoarsely, "how about a little water for us wandering desert nomads?"

The little girl drops her rope and looks at them with amazement.

"You're...you're...Rocky and Bullwinkle! You're from that new show on Cartoon Network!"

"There's a new show?" Rocky marvels.

"What's your name?" Bullwinkle inquires.

"Eureka," the girl replies. "Eureka Camphor."

Bullwinkle sighs. "Oh, I'll never get that smell out of my antlers!"

"Come inside," Eureka offers. "We've got lots of water."

Eureka hurries toward the front door of her house, while Rocky and Bullwinkle walk slowly behind her. "Mom! Mom!" the girl calls out. "Some cartoon characters have come to visit us!"

Eureka's mother, Mrs. Camphor, is busily kneading bread dough in the kitchen. "I hope it's not the Powerpuff Girls again," she says. "Last time they were here, they set the drapes on fire with their heat vision."

"No, Mom, it's..."

Mrs. Camphor's eyes go wide with shock when she sees the two visitors. "Rocky and Bullwinkle! But...but I thought you were cancelled!"

"We were," says Bullwinkle, "but that's not the same thing as being dead."

"Make yourselves comfortable," says Mrs. Camphor. "I'll get you some water."

Moments later, Rocky and Bullwinkle are seated with Eureka and her mother, sipping water from their glasses. "There's a road between here and San Diablo," Mrs. Camphor tells them. "My husband takes it every morning when he goes to work at the lab."

"We would have taken the road, but we saw some weird tracks in the desert and we followed them," says Rocky.

"We're on a secret..." Bullwinkle starts to say.

"Shush, Bullwinkle!"

"You don't have to tell me anything," says Mrs. Camphor. "I understand. Everything's secret around here."

"Mrs. Camphor, have you ever heard of something called Wunderkind?" asks Rocky.

Eureka gasps. Mrs. Camphor's face goes pale with fright.

"You all right?" asks Bullwinkle.

Mrs. Camphor stammers. "Uh...er...no, I...I've never heard of anything with that name."

Rocky glances at Bullwinkle suspiciously.

_**Is Mrs. Camphor telling the truth? Or does she know more than she's letting on? Don't miss our next thrill-packed episode, "Deceit in the Desert", or, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**In our last episode, our weary heroes escaped from the desert and were invited into the home of Mrs. Camphor and her daughter, Eureka.**_

As the sun rises over the desert, Rocky and Bullwinkle are seated at the dinner table in Mrs. Camphor's house. Eureka, still dressed in her pajamas, sits across from them, while Mrs. Camphor is preparing breakfast.

"It was sure nice of you to let us stay the night, Mrs. Camphor," says Rocky.

"Don't mention it," the woman replies. "With all the violence in today's cartoons, it's nice to meet some old-fashioned characters who don't fight or break things. So, what do you boys want for breakfast?"

"Got any Super Sugar Crisp?" asks Bullwinkle.

"What?"

"He means Golden Crisp, Mom," says Eureka.

Bullwinkle becomes confused. "What? They took out the sugar?"

"No, they just changed the name," Eureka tells him.

"That's outrageous!" the moose complains. "Wait until Sugar Bear hears about this!"

"Hey, guys," says Eureka, "before you leave town, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," says Rocky.

"I'd like you to come to show-and-tell at my school."

"Sure, we'd love to!" exclaims Rocky.

"What's show-and-tell?" asks Bullwinkle.

"Remember when you were in third grade and you took a butane torch to school and almost burned it down?" asks Rocky.

"Oh, yeah! I remember now. Ah, those were the days."

_**Soon afterward, our heroes arrive at Eureka Camphor's third-grade class.**_

The scene cuts to a classroom, with pictures of U.S. presidents, letters of the alphabet, and popular PBS characters lining the walls. About a dozen kids are seated at desks, talking quietly to each other. The teacher, a red-haired woman in her early thirties, is sitting at the front desk, preparing the day's lesson. The door to the classroom opens and Eureka walks in, followed closely by Rocky and Bullwinkle.

"Hey, everybody!" Eureka announced. "Look who I brought!"

The children gasp in disbelief. "Who are they?" asks a little boy.

"Rocky and Bullwinkle, stupid," answers a little girl. "They're cartoon characters from the 60's."

"Welcome to my class," says the teacher. "I'm Miss Thurber."

"Pleased to meet you," says Rocky. "Bullwinkle and I are happy to be here."

Eureka sits down, while Bullwinkle starts to address the kids with enthusiasm. "Okay kids, who's your favorite cartoon character?"

"Bart Simpson!"

"Ginger Foutley!"

"Pikachu!"

"Kim Possible!"

"I've never heard of any of those characters," says Rocky.

"Kids don't watch old cartoons anymore," Eureka tells him. "The new cartoons have better animation."

"Yeah, but our show had better puns," says Bullwinkle.

The door opens again, and a little girl enters. She has short brown hair and wears a red denim skirt. She looks at all the other children, then at Rocky and Bullwinkle, with an expression of scientific curiosity.

"Oh, we have a new pupil in our class," notes Miss Thurber. "What's your name?"

The new girl speaks in an emotionless tone. "My name is Florence. Florence Liverwurst." The kids burst out laughing.

"What a lovely name," says the teacher. "Were you named after the laboratory?"

"I named myself after the laboratory, yes."

As the kids chuckle, Miss Thurber stands in front of them. "Have a seat, Florence, and we'll get started with today's lesson."

As Florence seats herself at a desk, she points toward Rocky and Bullwinkle. "Why are they here?"

"Is there any reason why they shouldn't be here?" asks Miss Thurber.

"I'm simply inquiring as to their purpose," says Florence. "They are not third graders, nor are they employed by the school, so their presence requires an explanation."

"I brought them here for show-and-tell, Miss Know-it-All," says Eureka.

"I'm Rocket J. Squirrel," says Rocky, "and this is my friend, Bullwinkle Moose."

"I am aware of your identities," says Florence. "You are the stars of a 1960's cartoon series about an anthropomorphic moose and squirrel who repeatedly foil the plans of an international spy syndicate through an extremely improbable chain of bizarre coincidences."

"She's on to us, Bullwinkle," Rocky whispers.

"After show-and-tell," announces Miss Thurber, "we're going to talk about computers. Have you ever wondered what's inside a computer, and how it works?" Florence raises her hand. "Yes, Florence?"

Florence takes a deep breath. "A computer is an array of binary circuits, each representing a logical zero or one using two distinct voltage levels. These circuits are organized in such a way that they can perform logical and numerical computations..."

The other kids stare at her incredulously.

_**As our heroes look on in wonder, the strange little girl answers all of the teacher's questions correctly, and in great detail.**_

"Charles Babbage began work on his Analytical Engine in 1830, but died before it was completed. Assisting him was Ada Lovelace, the daughter of the poet Lord Byron..." The bell rings. "Is it time for me to stop?"

A short while later, Eureka is saying goodbye to Rocky and Bullwinkle in front of the school entrance. "Thanks for coming to show-and-tell, guys. You were a huge hit, even though hardly anyone remembered you."

"I think they were paying more attention to that smart girl," says Rocky.

"Yeah," reflects Bullwinkle, "she's a regular...uh, what's the word?"

"Prodigy?" Rocky reminds him.

"Yeah."

"I hope you'll come back soon," says Eureka.

"Thanks for everything," says Rocky.

The moose and squirrel start to walk away from the school, when Rocky suddenly stops in his tracks. "Wait a minute, Bullwinkle! If that girl's so smart, maybe she knows something about Wunderkind!"

"You're right!" says Bullwinkle. "Let's go back and talk to her!"

_**Meanwhile, Florence Liverwurst is about to meet two people who will change her life forever!**_

While wandering aimlessly about the playground, Florence encounters a short man with a formal suit and fake beard, and a tall woman in a black overcoat and large chapeau. "Allow me to introduce myself," says the short man. "I am Professor Ivan Smartenov from Smartenov Academy, the most expensive private school in California. And this is my colleague, Nabushka Vitale."

"Charmed," says the tall woman.

"Your beard is not real, sir," Florence points out.

"How very observant of you." The man yanks off the beard, revealing the face of who else but Boris Badenov.

"You are much too intelligent to attend a school like this," says the tall woman. "We would like to offer you a full-tuition scholarship to study at Smartenov Academy."

"I accept," says Florence without hesitation.

Rocky and Bullwinkle are walking toward the playground when Bullwinkle spots something and points. "Look over there! She's getting into that car with a man and woman. They must be her parents."

At the side of the street, Florence is climbing into the back seat of a small car. The short man is slipping into the driver's seat, while the tall woman is occupying the passenger's seat.

"Hokey smoke!" exclaims Rocky. "It's Boris and Natasha!"

"How'd she get so smart with parents like those?" Bullwinkle wonders.

"They're not her parents! They're kidnapping her!"

As the two watch helplessly, the car driven by Boris pulls away from the curb and speeds down the street. "They're getting away!" says Rocky.

_**Can our heroes rescue Florence from the clutches of the Pottsylvanian spies? What will happen if they don't? Don't miss our next exciting episode, "The Smart Kidnapping", or, "Driving Miss Prodigy".**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**In our last episode, our heroes watched as the young prodigy Florence Liverwurst was taken away by Boris and Natasha, who were posing as teachers from an exclusive private school.**_

Boris is driving down the street in the desert town of Muy Quiente, California, wearing a formal suit. Natasha is in the passenger's seat, clad in a long overcoat, her chapeau sitting in her lap. Florence, in the back seat, is speaking to them in an emotionless voice. "What are the areas of study at Smartenov Academy?"

Boris answers, "We believe in the three D's--deceit, double-crossing, and..."

"Boris, darlink, you are thinkink of that other school," Natasha corrects him. "At Smartenov we teach the three R's--reading, writing, and arithmetic."

"'Writing' and 'arithmetic' do not start with the letter R," Florence points out.

"You're a very clever little girl," says Natasha.

"Many great scientists were once pupils at Smartenov Academy," Boris continues. "Some of them are now workink on a project called Wunderkind. Have you heard of it?"

"Yes."

"What do you know of it?"

"I should not discuss it."

_**Meanwhile, our heroes are in hot pursuit of the fleeing spies!**_

Not far behind the car driven by Boris is a yellow cab, driven by a young man wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Rocky and Bullwinkle are seated in the back, and as usual, Bullwinkle is hunched over to make room for his antlers. "Thanks a lot for giving us a ride, Mr., uh..." Rocky begins to say.

"Gidney," replies the young man.

"Hey, we know somebody named Gidney," says Rocky.

The taxi driver suddenly begins to morph, and is replaced by Gidney and Cloyd. Gidney is sitting on top of Cloyd's head, manipulating the steering wheel while Cloyd controls the brakes and accelerator. They are wearing their holsters and scrooch guns. "I believe you also know somebody named Cloyd," says Cloyd.

"Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle!" says Rocky. "It's our old friends, the moon men!"

"What are they doing here?" wonders Bullwinkle.

"The same thing that you're doing," Gidney explains. "Trying to keep Wunderkind out of enemy hands."

"Then that girl does know about Wunderkind," observes Rocky.

"Stupid Earth squirrel," says Cloyd. "She IS Wunderkind!"

"What?" exclaim the stupefied moose and squirrel.

"We scanned her," says Gidney. "She's some sort of highly advanced artificial life form."

"You mean a robot?" says Bullwinkle.

"She's way beyond a robot," says Cloyd. "We've never seen anything like her, even on the moon."

"Boris and Natasha don't know what she is," says Gidney. "Since 'wunderkind' means 'gifted child', they're questioning all the gifted children they can find."

"But you're from the moon," Rocky notes. "Why are you mixed up in this?"

"Hey, we're American citizens, remember?" Cloyd reminds him.

_**For miles and miles, our heroes and the moon men follow the spies and the captive little girl.**_

The cab containing Rocky, Bullwinkle, and the moom men follows Boris' car into a small town. A sign by the side of the road says, WELCOME TO CORPUS CRUSTY, CALIFORNIA. POPULATION: LOYAL AMERICANS, 5,000. ENEMY SPIES, 0.

Bullwinkle sticks his head out the window of the cab to air out his antlers. He sees sinister-looking townsfolk walking along the street, wearing overcoats and sunglasses. Even the children playing in the park are dressed like spies. "This town gives me the creeps, Rocky," he says anxiously.

Soon Boris' car stops in front of a dilapidated warehouse. Boris and Natasha climb out of the car, and lead Florence through the entrance into the building. The moon men park the cab at the side of the street, half a block away. "Thanks for the lift, Gidney and Cloyd," says Rocky.

"That'll be eighty dollars," says Gidney, checking the meter.

Inside the warehouse, Boris, Natasha, and Florence come out of an elevator and are greeted by a short woman who wears a uniform similar to that of Fearless Leader. "Florence, I would like you to meet our headmistress, Katerina Smartenov," Boris introduces her. "No relation."

"I am pleased to meet you," says Florence politely. "When do we commence lessons?"

"You have come to train as a spy?" asks the short woman.

"Spi...nal injury specialist," Natasha interrupts her.

"I know nothink of such things," says the short woman.

"Of course not," says Boris. "Your specialty is quantum mechanics. The faculty members at Smartenov Academy have very diverse interests."

"I would like to help bring about world peace," states Florence.

"Oh, such language!" says the short woman in disgust.

"It warms the heart and stirs the soul!" says Natasha insincerely.

"Is there a member of your faculty who can assist me?" Florence inquires.

"Unfortunately, Professor Pyotr Peacenik is on sabbatical," replies Boris, "but he will return next year."

Several more spies approach the group, including a tall man with a beard. "An update on the spellink champion from Fresno, Katerina," he tells the short woman. "He has been successfully abducted."

Boris chuckles "You meant to say 'inducted'."

"Have you questioned the girl, Boris?" the tall man inquires.

"Er...not yet," says Boris, "but I think she will have no trouble passink the entrance exam."

_**Meanwhile, our heroes are preparing for an all-out assault on the spy hideout!**_

In front of the warehouse entrance, Gidney and Cloyd are adjusting the settings on their scrooch guns, while Rocky and Bullwinkle stand behind them. " My scrooch gun is set for 100 years, Gidney," says Cloyd. "By the time they thaw out, they'll be spies for a country that no longer exists."

"Bullwinkle, we need a diversion!" Rocky instructs his pal.

Bullwinkle pulls a top hat from behind his back. "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"

"Not that kind of diversion!"

"Okay, whatever." Bullwinkle shrugs and tosses the hat aside. When it lands on the ground, a rabbit emerges and scurries away.

Inside the spy compound, Katerina the spy is handing a pencil and sheet of paper to Florence, who is seated at a desk. There are no other desks in the room. "In order to enroll in Smartenov Academy," she tells the girl, "you must answer all of the questions on this test."

Florence quickly reads over the test questions. They are as follows: 1. Who was the eleventh president of the evil capitalist empire United States? 2. How many evil capitalists does it take to change a lightbulb? 3. Write down everythink you know about the scientific project Wunderkind.

"Well?" says Katerina impatiently.

"Ma'am, in order to answer the third question, I must see your security clearance."

Katerina pulls a machine gun out of her overcoat. "I have all the clearance I need right here."

The other spies take positions behind Katerina and pull out their machine guns, except for Boris and Natasha. "Where are your guns?" the short woman asks them.

"The airport police took them," explains Natasha.

"I am givink you one last chance," Katerina warns Florence. "Where is Wunderkind?"

Florence, still sitting at her desk, shows no sign of fear. Suddenly the door bursts open and Bullwinkle charges through, antlers first. Rocky follows closely behind, with Gidney and Cloyd taking up the rear, scrooch guns drawn. "Hold it right there, you rotten spies!" shouts Rocky.

"Moose and squirrel!" exclaims Boris. "They followed us!"

The spies who have weapons aim them at Rocky, Bullwinkle, and the moon men. Gidney and Cloyd disappear, then suddenly reappear in front of Rocky and Bullwinkle, waving their scrooch guns menacingly. "Drop your weapons or prepare to be scrooched!" Gidney demands.

"Oh, what darlink little children!" gushes Katerina. "I must give them some candy!"

"We're not children," Cloyd tells her. "We're moon men."

"Well, in that case, kill them!"

The armed spies take aim with their machine guns and fire at the moon men, who return fire with their scrooch guns.

_**And so, the battle begins. Who will emerge triumphant? Find out in our next exciting episode, "You Scrooch My Back, I'll Scrooch Yours," or, "I May Have to Up the Rating for Violence".**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**When we last left our heroes, they were raiding the spy hideout in Corpus Crusty, California, which resulted in a firefight between the spies and the moon men!**_

As Rocky and Bullwinkle watch in breathless suspense, and Florence observes dispassionately from her desk, the moon men teleport about the room, firing scrooch beams and dodging bullets from the spies' machine guns.

"Quick, Bullwinkle!" says Rocky. "Let's get Florence out of here!"

The two run to Florence's desk, where Bullwinkle grabs the girl around the shoulders and Rocky lifts her feet. They hurry out of the room as bullets and scrooch rays fly around them. Moments later, they run through the warehouse exit and put Florence down on the sidewalk. "Where are we going?" asks Florence.

"We're taking you back to the laboratory where you were created," Rocky answers.

"I refuse to go," says Florence indignantly.

"Why?" wonders Rocky.

"I was programmed to be benevolent and peaceful, but the scientists wanted to use me to design new weapons to kill people. So I ran away and changed my appearance so they would not find me."

"But we can't leave you to those spies!" Rocky insists.

Florence speaks in her usual emotionless tone. "Why should I not attend a prestigious and expensive private school in order to increase my already encyclopedic knowledge?"

Rocky looks around and sees some discarded construction materials by the side of the warehouse, including some long blocks of wood. "Stay right where you are, Florence. Bullwinkle and I are going to have a private little chat." He leads Bullwinkle around the corner of the warehouse, where they are out of Florence's sight, and begins to talk quietly. "Bullwinkle, you know what we have to do if we can't return Wunderkind to the lab."

"Resign our commissions in disgrace?" asks Bullwinkle.

"No."

"Put on petticoats and drive down Madison Avenue on a zamboni?"

"No!"

"Destroy her to keep her from falling into enemy hands?"

"No! I mean, yes!"

"But we can't destroy her," Bullwinkle protests. "She's a little girl."

"She's a robot," Rocky reminds him. "She only looks like a little girl."

Bullwinkle's tone becomes one of resignation. "Uh, okay, Rock."

"I'll go talk to her," Rocky instructs him, "and you take one of these big blocks of wood and come up behind her. When I turn around and put my hands over my eyes, that's your signal. Think you can handle that?"

"I'll take a crack at it."

Rocky walks back to Florence and starts to talk to her, while Bullwinkle sneaks up behind her, holding one of the blocks of wood over his head. "I wish you'd go back to the lab with us," Rocky urges her. "I think we can reason with the scientists and convince them to use you for peaceful purposes."

"They created me for the express purpose of designing new weapons," says Florence. "That purpose is incompatible with my peaceful programming. I would rather be deactivated than return to the laboratory."

"All right, have it your way," says Rocky sadly.

He turns around and puts his hands over his eyes. Several seconds later he pulls away his hands and turns his head. To his surprise, Florence is still standing in front of him, undamaged. Bullwinkle is standing behind her with the block of wood raised over his head.

"I can't do it, Rocky!" says the moose hopelessly.

"But you have to, Bullwinkle!" Rocky insists.

"I'm serious! I can't go through with it!"

"Why not?"

"Because she's got a force shield!"

To demonstrate, Bullwinkle swings his club downward in an attempt to hit Florence, but an invisible barrier noiselessly deflects it. "Hokey smoke!" marvels Rocky.

"Why are you trying to hurt me?" Florence asks them. "Are you my enemies?"

"No! We're not!" Rocky tells her.

"Oh, yes, they are!" comes Cloyd's voice.

Gidney and Cloyd have suddenly appeared in front of the warehouse, their scrooch guns smoking. Other than a few slight burns and bruises, they seem none the worse for wear from their battle with the spies. "Come with us, Florence," Gidney invites the girl. "We'll take you to a place where you'll never be asked to make weapons of destruction...the moon!"

"I accept," says Florence.

"Hey, you can't take her to the moon!" Rocky protests. "She's the property of the U.S. Government!"

"Don't take this personally, guys," says Cloyd calmly. "We're acting under the orders of the Moon Queen."

"Look at it this way," says Gidney. "You'll save on animation costs."

With that, Gidney and Cloyd raise their scrooch guns and fire at Rocky and Bullwinkle, freezing them solid. Florence looks at the petrified moose and squirrel with her usual scientific detachment.

Then Cloyd looks at his scrooch gun and gasps. "Oh, no! I forgot to change the setting after scrooching all those spies!"

"So did I!" realizes Gidney. "We just scrooched our friends for a hundred years!"

_**Could this finally be the end for our heroes? Be sure to see our next thrilling episode, "22nd Century Moose", or, "Still Life With Squirrel"!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Horror of horrors! Our heroes have been scrooched for a hundred years!**_

In front of the warehouse that serves as a spy hideout, Gidney and Cloyd look sadly at the immobile moose and squirrel. Florence continues to display no emotion. "Some of the spies got away," Gidney remarks. "We'd better skedaddle before they come back for a rematch."

"But we can't leave Rocky and Bullwinkle like this," says Cloyd.

"You're right," Gidney acknowledges. "We should take them to the moon with us and look for a way to unscrooch them."

"Bullwinkle looks really heavy," observes Cloyd. "Do you think the two of us can carry him to the taxi?"

"Leave that to me." Florence grabs Rocky under one arm and lifts Bullwinkle with the other, and effortlessly carries the two toward the cab that the moon men arrived in.

"How convenient," says Gidney.

The moon men follow after Florence. After a few minutes of struggling to squeeze the frozen Bullwinkle into the back seat, they finally decide to strap him to the top of the cab. As Florence climbs into the back seat and places Rocky next to her, Boris and Natasha watch them in astonishment from behind a corner of the warehouse.

"The moon creatures have keeled moose and squirrel!" marvels Natasha.

"Those dirty back-stabbing double crossers!" complains Boris. "I should congratulate them!"

"At last moose and squirrel will trouble us no more!" Natasha exults.

"So what do we do now?" wonders Boris.

_**While Boris and Natasha consider the prospect of life in a moose-and-squirrel-free world, the moon men transport our congelated heroes to the New Mexico desert, where they have hidden their spaceship.**_

Gidney and Cloyd park the taxicab in a remote desert location. They jump out and start to unstrap Bullwinkle from the top of the vehicle, while Florence pulls Rocky out of the back seat. "The ship should be right over that ridge," says Cloyd, pointing.

When Gidney, Cloyd, and Florence (who is once again carrying Rocky and Bullwinkle) reach the other side of the ridge, they are suddenly greeted with a blinding barrage of camera flashes. "What the..." exclaims Gidney.

Standing between them and the spaceship is a mob of reporters and strangely dressed hippies. They all yell and cheer when they see the aliens. "Great Scott!" cries Cloyd. "We've gone back in time to the 1960's!"

One of the reporters gloats over the picture she has just taken. "Finally, positive proof of extraterrestrial life!"

The hippies start to throng the consternated moon men.

"Like, take me with you, man!" begs a hippie man.

"I want to have your child!" pleads a hippie woman.

Gidney and Cloyd whip out their scrooch guns and wave them threateningly, causing the hippies to back away in fear. "Whoa, scrooch guns!" marvels the hippie man. "Like, I knew they were real all along."

The moon men and Florence continue on their way to the spaceship. When they reach it, they find that it has been defaced with graffiti and 60's-style psychedelic drawings. "Oh, man!" moans Gidney. "The Moon Queen is not gonna like this!"

**_Soon Gidney and Cloyd are zipping through space on their way home, accompanied by our frozen heroes and their ill-gotten secret weapon._**

The spaceship lands on the moon, and shortly Gidney and Cloyd are kneeling before the Moon Queen. Florence stands behind them, glancing about curiously. Next to her stand the immobile Rocky and Bullwinkle. "My congratulations, Gidney and Cloyd," says the Queen. "You will be richly rewarded for your success. Who are these other Earth creatures you have brought?"

"They are Rocky and Bullwinkle, Your Grace," says Cloyd. "They are friends of ours whom we had to scrooch in order to complete our mission."

"We brought them with us in hopes of finding a way to restore them," adds Gidney.

"But our scientists know of no way to artificially reverse the scrooching process," the Queen points out. "You must wait until the effect wears off naturally."

"But that would take a hundred years!" Cloyd complains.

"Your Grace," says Gidney, "I propose that we test the Wunderkind device by asking it to compute an unscrooching formula."

"Hmm..." The Queen motions toward a small group of moon scientists, who approach her and begin to quietly consult with her. Then they withdraw, and she faces Gidney and Cloyd again. "I agree to your proposal."

The scene shifts to a laboratory on the moon. Several moon scientists watch in amazement as Florence draws complicated equations on the board.

**_For days on end Florence and the moon scientists work together to find a way to accelerate the unscrooching process._**

The moon scientists repeatedly bombard Rocky and Bullwinkle with waves from a raygun-like device, but the pair remains hopelessly scrooched.

_**When finally...**_

The scientists once again fire their raygun at the frozen Rocky and Bullwinkle, then gasp in horror when they see the results. "This...this isn't possible..." mutters the first scientist.

"What's happened to them?" marvels the second scientist.

Where Rocky and Bullwinkle used to be, there now stand a living, non-anthropomorphic bull moose and flying squirrel. The two animals look around in confusion.

"Quickly, reverse the polarity and hit them again!" orders the first scientist.

The other scientist does so, and the bull moose and flying squirrel are reverted to their original forms. Rocky and Bullwinkle, now unscrooched, are surprised to find themselves in a moon laboratory. "What happened?" asks Rocky. "Where are we?"

"The Moon Queen is not gonna believe this," muses the first scientist.

Moments later, the two scientists are in a meeting with the Moon Queen. "I don't believe it!" she declares.

"But it works, Your Grace," insists the second scientist. "We tested it on some cows we abducted from a field in Iowa."

Standing behind the two scientists are a pair of anthropomorphic cows who are capable of human speech.

"Got milk?" says the first cow.

"Would you please stop saying that?" complains the second cow.

The Moon Queen gazes at the two cow people thoughtfully. "Interesting. I would like you to test it on other kinds of animals. I would also like to see some large-scale tests."

"May I ask for what purpose, Your Grace?" inquires the first scientist.

"This new weapon may be just what we need...to overthrow and enslave the people of Earth!"

_**What fiendish plot is the Moon Queen dreaming up? Find out in our next episode, "Plan Ten from Outer Space", or "There's a Bad Moon on the Rise".**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**In our last episode, our heroes were finally unscrooched thanks to the efforts of Florence and the moon scientists. Unbeknownst to them, the Moon Queen has a sinister agenda regarding the people of Earth!**_

Gidney, Cloyd, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Florence, and the two moon scientists are standing in the presence of the Moon Queen. "Gidney, Cloyd, in recognition of your bravery in obtaining the Wunderkind device and as a gesture of good will toward Earth, I will allow you to return your friends to their own world," the Queen proclaims.

"Your generosity is truly without limit, Your Grace," says Gidney.

"Hey, wait a minute!" protests Bullwinkle. "What about Florence? Why isn't she going back?"

"The Wunderkind device will remain on the moon and assist us in the development of our peaceful technologies," explains the Queen.

"But...but...she belongs to the U.S. Government!" the moose fumed. "As a patriotic American, I cannot permit this!"

"We have no choice, Bullwinkle," Rocky tells him. "Besides, with Florence on the moon, how can she do anything that would affect Earth?"

"But..."

"Trust me!"

"Uh...okay," says Bullwinkle with reluctance. "You're the smart one."

_**And so, Gidney and Cloyd transport our heroes back to the planet Earth.**_

The spaceship carrying Gidney, Cloyd, Rocky, and Bullwinkle zooms back to Earth and lands in the California desert, not far from the town of San Diablo. The four then disembark from the craft, and Gidney and Cloyd say their goodbyes. "It was fun working with you guys again," says Cloyd.

"Sorry we had to scrooch you," says Gidney.

"Take good care of Florence, okay?" Bullwinkle requests.

"We'll try," says Cloyd. "But frankly, I think the Queen has something up her sleeve."

"You mean...you think she has evil plans for Wunderkind?" says Rocky anxiously.

"You'll have to excuse Cloyd," says Gidney. "He's always been a little paranoid. In fact, I think I'll call him Cloyd the Paranoid from now on."

"See you later, guys," says Bullwinkle.

The moon men return to their craft and take off as Rocky and Bullwinkle watch.

"Gee, Rock, do you think Cloyd's on to something?" wonders the moose.

"I'd bet my life on it," says Rocky. "Come on, let's get to the lab."

"How are we gonna tell the scientists that we lost Wunderkind?" asks Bullwinkle as the pair walks through the desert.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan," says Rocky. "Well, it's actually more of an excuse."

Not long afterward, Rocky and Bullwinkle are back at Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory, consulting with Dr. Tightlips and his colleagues.

"She did WHAT?" bellows the doctor.

"She decided to run for governor of California," Rocky explains.

"And you did nothing to stop her?"

"Well, we figured, who better to run against an android than another android?"

"You allowed a top-secret weapon to slip through your fingers!" Dr. Tightlips snarls. "You'll pay for what you've done!"

"Do you take Mastercard?" asks Bullwinkle.

_**Before our heroes know what hit them, they have been charged with high treason and incarcerated in a federal penitentiary!**_

"What about American Express?" inquires Bullwinkle as he and Rocky peer through the bars of their cell.

In the neighboring cell stand none other than Boris and Natasha. "Look, Natasha!" says Boris, pointing. "Moose and squirrel are now criminals like we are!"

"Boris and Natasha?" Rocky marvels. "What did they get you for?"

"Everythink, darlink," Natasha replies.

"We turned ourselves in on the condition that we would be placed in the cell next to yours," says Boris.

"Now we can gloat over your misfortune for the next fifty years!" Natasha exults.

"Gloat, gloat, gloat!" says Boris as Rocky and Bullwinkle groan hopelessly.

_**As our heroes fester in prison, Gidney and Cloyd arrive back on the moon, only to find that they have been reassigned!**_

Gidney and Cloyd land on the moon in their spacecraft. A short while later, they are standing at a security gate that surrounds a gigantic ship, and talking to a security guard. "I'm Gidney and this is Cloyd," Gidney introduces them.

"The Moon Queen ordered us to report for duty at the Juggernaut," Cloyd states.

"Very well, proceed," says the guard.

As they enter the security perimeter, Gidney and Cloyd see Florence and the two moon scientists. They are observing as moon workers load something that looks like a large ray gun onto the ship. "What is that thing?" Gidney inquires.

"It's the weapon we helped to create," answers the first scientist.

"It's called the Anthropomorphizer," says the second scientist. "It turns animals into humanoid-like beings."

"What are they going to do with it?" asks Cloyd.

"We don't know," replies the first scientist.

Gidney, Cloyd, Florence, and the two scientists enter the huge spacecraft. Soon all of the moon people who serve as the ship's crew are gathered in an assembly hall. Gidney and Cloyd are seated next to the two scientists, and Florence is standing in front of the multitude. Next to her is none other than the Moon Queen herself. The Queen makes an announcement to the gathered throng.

"Men and women of the moon, you should feel proud that you have been selected for this historic mission. Thanks to the scientific prowess of the Earth android Wunderkind, we now have in our hands a weapon that will enable us to neutralize the threat of the Earth people once and for all!"

"What?" Gidney whispers to Cloyd. "Is she saying that we're going to invade the Earth?"

"I guess so," Cloyd whispers back. "But I don't understand. I thought Wunderkind was programmed to be peaceful. How can she stand for this?"

_**How indeed? Has Wunderkind really thrown in her lot with the alien invaders? And with our heroes in prison, how will they be able to save the Earth? Don't miss our next episode, "Lost and Spaced", or, "Head for the Hills, the Moon Men are Coming".**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**In our last episode, our heroes were imprisoned for losing Wunderkind to the moon people, who were preparing for an all-out invasion of the planet Earth!**_

The gigantic moon ship Juggernaut is soaring through space on its way to the Earth. Inside, Gidney and Cloyd are standing behind a bulkhead, holding a quiet conversation. "I don't know about you," says Gidney, "but I don't think invading Earth is a very good idea."

"You're right, Gidney," says Cloyd. "I mean, other than landing a few people on the moon, what have the earthlings ever done to threaten us?"

"There must be something we can do to stop the invasion," says Gidney.

"But you're talking about committing treason against the Queen!"

"Yes, Cloyd, that's exactly what I'm talking about."

"I'm happy to hear it," comes a girl's voice from behind the two moon men.

Gidney and Cloyd turn around and discover to their horror that Florence is standing behind them, and has been listening to their exchange.

"Oh, no!" cries Cloyd in despair. "We've been found out!"

"We'll be scrooched for eternity!" mourns Gidney.

"Take it easy, guys," says Florence in a friendly voice.

Then, as the two moon men watch in amazement, Florence begins to change shape. Within moments, she has assumed the form of Rocky.

"R-Rocky?" Cloyd stammers. "Is it really you?"

"But how?" wonders Gidney.

Rocky holds up an electronic gadget. "I took Wunderkind's place using this holographic generator that she gave me," he explains.

_**Meanwhile, back on Earth, a trial has commenced...**_

In a federal court room, Rocky and Bullwinkle are seated in the defendants' chairs. The judge pounds his gavel. "This court will now come to order. Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose, you are charged with high treason and leaking government secrets to the enemy. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, Your Honor," says Rocky confidently, "on the grounds that we never leaked any government secrets."

The squirrel leaps to his feet, and as the judge and jurors watch in disbelief, he morphs into the shape of a child-sized android with round feet.

"I am Wunderkind," he states in a metallic voice. "I am now prepared to return to the laboratory where I was created, and assist in the defense of Earth against the imminent invasion from the moon."

On the moon ship Juggernaut, Rocky has resumed his Florence disguise, and is conspiring with Gidney and Cloyd. "Here's the plan," says the squirrel/girl. "As soon as the ship enters Earth's atmosphere, I'll meet you at the entrance to the weapon room. I'll tell the guard that something's wrong with the Anthropomorphizer and I need to fix it. Once we get in, we'll jettison the weapon, put on oxygen masks, jump off the ship, and glide down to Earth together."

"Sounds like a good plan," says Gidney.

"We should reach the atmosphere in about ten minutes," says Cloyd.

Rocky/Florence takes his leave of the two moon men. Minutes later, as he is wandering through the ship, the Moon Queen and the two moon scientists approach him. "Wunderkind, we require your presence in the laboratory," the Queen orders.

"As you wish, Your Grace," says Rocky/Florence.

Soon the Moon Queen and the scientists are seated in the laboratory, and the disguised squirrel is standing in front of a blackboard, holding a piece of chalk. "I've been thinking that it will be easier to enslave the Earth people if we use some sort of mind control device," says the Queen. "So I want you to assist my scientists in developing a helmet that will cause those who wear it to obey every command they hear."

"Uh, yes, Your Majesty," says Rocky/Florence nervously. "That should be no trouble at all." He begins to write on the board. "So the hypothesis is as follows. Suppose you have slave, A, who is unwilling to work. Suppose you also have helmet, B, which when placed upon the head of said slave, emits electromagnetic signals, C, which enter the slave's brain, D..."

Gidney and Cloyd are standing by the entrance to the weapon room, and becoming increasingly impatient. "What's taking her so long?" wonders Gidney. "I mean, him?"

Suddenly they hear a high-pitched whining sound. "Omigosh!" exclaims Cloyd. "They're firing the weapon!"

_**And indeed they are! The waves from the moon weapon engulf the entire Earth, turning every animal they touch into an anthropomorphic being capable of human speech and reasoning!**_

The scene cuts to the surface of Earth, where the anthropomorphizing rays are mutating animals everywhere. A chicken, who is in the process of crossing a road, suddenly looks around in confusion. "Why am I doing this?" she wonders.

In the Canadian wilderness, Dudley Do-Right is pursuing Snidely Whiplash on his faithful horse. Suddenly the horse stops in his tracks, reaches up, grabs Dudley, and tosses him from the saddle. "I've had enough of your bumbling," he says sharply. "From now on, we go after Snidely MY way!"

Not far away, a fisherman is sitting idly in front of a river, waiting for a tug on his line. He is about to get one, as a mass of intelligent trout have grasped the other end of the line. One of the trout is serving as a taskmaster, bellowing, "Heave...ho! Heave...ho!"

Before the fisherman knows what hit him, he is yanked, pole and all, into the river. Soaking wet, he jumps to his feet only to see a gigantic horde of birds flying in his direction. At the head of the flock is a large eagle, who is screeching commands to the other birds. "Kill the humans! Peck their eyes out!" The fisherman flees for cover as the angry birds start to throng around him.

In a nearby forest, a hunter dressed in camouflage gear is stalking deer, rifle in hand. Suddenly two deer fall upon him from an overhanging limb. Seconds later, the two deer emerge from the forest. The doe is still naked, but the buck is wearing the hunter's clothes.

"They look lovely on you, dear," says the doe.

"Now where could his mate be?" wonders the buck.

Meanwhile, Rocky/Florence is still frantically writing on the blackboard in the laboratory aboard the moon ship Juggernaut. The Moon Queen and the two scientists are looking rather suspicious. "...and you divide that by the price of tea in China, and add the number of angels who can dance on the head of a pin..."

The Queen leaps to her feet. "Enough! You are an impostor! Guards! Seize her!"

"We're scientists, not guards, Your Grace," the first scientist points out.

"It's against union rules for us to seize anybody," adds the second scientist.

The frightened Rocky/Florence flees from the laboratory and down the corridor towards the weapon room. He soon meets up with Gidney and Cloyd. "We've got to hurry, guys! The Queen knows I'm not Wunderkind!"

"How will we get past the guard now?" wonders Gidney.

"I've got an idea!" says Rocky/Florence.

He flips a switch on the holographic generator and morphs back into his flying squirrel form. Then he tosses the device at the guard who stands in front of the weapon room entrance. The guard idly catches it, and is shocked and confused when he suddenly takes on the appearance of Florence. "Huh? What?"

At that moment the Moon Queen races down the corridor, accompanied by four guards. "There she is!" she cries out.

The Queen's guards grab hold of the weapon room guard, thinking he is Florence. "Hold on, guys!" he protests in Florence's voice as they drag him away. "You're making a big mistake!"

Rocky, Gidney, and Cloyd hurry into the weapon room. "There's the weapon," says Cloyd, pointing at the Anthropomorphizer, a large ray gun attached to the floor of the weapon room. Its nozzle has been inserted through an opening in the ship's hull.

"Correction," says Gidney. "There WAS the weapon." He walks over to a switch on the wall that has the word JETTISON printed above it in large red letters. Cloyd and Rocky find oxygen masks in a wall compartment and start to put them on.

Cloyd tosses Gidney an oxygen mask. "You know, Rocky," he muses, "after this, we'll never be able to go home again."

"Gee, I'm sorry, Cloyd," says Rocky comfortingly. The three fasten their masks.

_**As Gidney pulls the switch, the Anthropomorphizer is hurled into the atmosphere, along with Rocky and his two moon friends!**_

As he is ejected from the spacecraft, Rocky grabs Gidney and Cloyd by the arms, and begins to glide through the air towards the Earth's surface. "It's...c-c-c-cold!" he stammers as the freezing air envelops him.

_**With their oxygen masks protecting them from the thin air of the upper atmosphere, Rocky, Gidney, and Cloyd plummet gracefully to Earth...**_

After about fifteen minutes, Rocky, Gidney, and Cloyd slowly descend to the ground.

_**...and into the middle of the San Diego Zoo!**_

The three look around and find to their dismay that all the humans have left, and that the zoo pathways are occupied by lions, tigers, and elephants. They slowly remove their oxygen masks. "Hokey smoke!" exclaims Rocky.

A moment later, Rocky, Gidney, and Cloyd are surrounded by a large, hungry mob of lions, tigers, panthers, and leopards. One of the tigers approaches them menacingly. "Forgive the terrible cliche," he growls, "but look who's dropped in for lunch!"

"Cloyd!" cries Gidney. "Your scrooch gun!"

The two moon men pull their scrooch guns from their holsters and try to fire them at the animals, but they fail to engage.

"It's not working!" says Cloyd. "The cold air of the upper atmosphere must have damaged it!"

_**Will Rocky and the moon men become tiger chow? Don't miss our next exciting episode, "Chewed at the Zoo", or, "Moon Pies and Rocky Road for Everyone".**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**When we last left Rocky and the moon men, they were surrounded by hungry, talking jungle cats at the San Diego Zoo!**_

A mob of lions, tigers, and other kinds of wild cats surrounds Rocky, Gidney, and Cloyd. The foremost, a tiger, is looking Rocky straight in the eye. "Tell me, squirrel, do you taste better with rosemary or dill?"

"You don't understand!" Rocky tries to explain. "You're not supposed to be intelligent! The Moon Queen did this to you so she could take over the world!"

"Oh, did she?" says the tiger. "I'll have to remember to thank her...after lunch!"

As the tiger is about to bite Rocky's head off, an elephant trunk wraps around the big cat's midsection and lifts him into the air. His assailant, a she-elephant, scolds him indignantly. "Leave those poor creatures alone!"

"Stay out of this!" the tiger warns her.

"Your dietary preferences disgust me," says the elephant haughtily. "Why can't you learn to eat vegetables like self-respecting animals do?"

The other jungle cats prepare to pounce on the elephant, only to back down when they see several other elephants, along with a half dozen rhinos, charging in their direction. "Come on, guys!" Rocky calls out, hurrying away from the scene with the moon men close behind.

_**Meanwhile, at the government laboratory, Wunderkind is helping the scientists find a solution to the anthropomorphic crisis!**_

At Florence Liverwurst National Laboratory, the round-footed android called Wunderkind is writing equations on a blackboard, while Bullwinkle, Dr. Tightlips, and several other scientists watch. "...and the device will automatically shut off once the de-anthropomorphization process is complete," the android states.

"That's brilliant!" gushes Dr. Tightlips. "We'll build it at once!"

Suddenly Rocky arrives in the room with Gidney and Cloyd. "Moon men!" exclaims the doctor. "How did they get in without a clearance?"

"I have all the clearance I need right here," says Cloyd, patting his scrooch gun.

"Dr. Tightlips, what will you do about all the cartoon animals?" asks Rocky.

"Yeah!" says Bullwinkle. "I don't want to be de-anthro-whatever-ed."

A small white dog who wears glasses approaches the group. "I believe I have an answer to that," he declares.

Rocky and Bullwinkle gasp. "Mr. Peabody?"

"When the anti-anthropomorphic device is activated," Peabody proposes, "all the cartoon animals will step through my Waybac Machine and travel five minutes into the future."

"Amazing!" marvels Dr. Tightlips. "Remind me to increase your salary."

_**And so, by the end of the next day, the government scientists have built a device to reverse the effects of the moon weapon!**_

The waves from the anti-anthropomorphic device spread through the world, reverting all of the humanlike animals to their previous state. The chickens resume crossing the roads, the crazed birds stop pursuing the fisherman, and the sheep who were robbing a tourist couple begin to placidly eat grass again.

In Mr. Peabody's time laboratory, all of the world's cartoon animals are lined up to pass through the Waybac Machine and avoid the effects of the waves. The lineup includes Bugs Bunny, Woody Woodpecker, Mickey Mouse, Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat, etc., etc., etc. At the back of the line are Rocky and Bullwinkle. Mr. Peabody is calmly herding the cartoon animals through the machine. "One at a time, now," he instructs them. "No pushing."

Finally all of the cartoon characters have gone through except for Rocky, Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody.

_**Well, it looks like our heroes have saved the day again, with a little help from Wunderkind, the moon men, and the government scientists.**_

"Ahem," says the canine genius.

**_And Mr. Peabody, of course. We'll be back next week for the beginning of another exciting and interminable adventure!_**

Bullwinkle walks through the time portal, followed by Rocky. A moment later Rocky steps back through the portal. "Aren't you coming, Mr. Peabody?" he asks with concern.

Mr. Peabody pushes Rocky through the time portal, then flips the switch to deactivate it. He pulls off his dog mask to reveal the grinning countenance of Boris Badenov.

_**What in the name of...**_

"Muwahahahahaha!" gloats Boris. "Victory is mine at last!"

THE END (?)


End file.
